FYI's for Parents

There are a handful of things that I like to tell parents before we begin the counseling process.

1.) Please take your child to the bathroom before the session starts. This way their session is not interrupted with a potty break. This is pretty simple, and makes a big difference.

2.) I do not require that the children clean up the playroom when the session is finished. This is because a child has just used the toys and play space to share and tell me things. I do not want them to have to put all that away, or back inside them. I can help distinguish for them that the playroom is different than their toys at home if you would like.

3.) Please call or email me with updates from between sessions rather than telling me in front of your child. Often times, parents use the first 10 minutes of the session telling me all the negative things their child did during the week. Then, the child feels less motivated to play and has the perception that they are now in trouble. Counseling should never be a punishment. However, I do like to stay informed and up to date, so a phone call prior to the session works great.

4.) Please continue to be the parent even when I am around. It is better for your child if you continue to discipline and interact with them the same way you do at home. These behaviors are helpful for me to see and they also keep me in the role of therapist, and out of the role of parent.

5.) Be advised that counseling has ups and downs. We will have good weeks where we see improvement, and we are guaranteed to have set backs. It has been shown that children get worse before they make lasting, positive change. It seems to be their last attempt to resist and rebel. Try not to let this scare you that counseling isn't working.

6.) The more involved and active you are in the counseling process, the quicker it will be. Your child will take note of your seriousness.

7.) Please do not ask your child if they did a good job during the session. This communicates that they could have done a bad job. In the playroom, there is no good or bad job. There is only unconditional acceptance for you child. Instead, you can say something like, "when we get to the car you can choose to share with me about your play time if you want, but you don't have to." Please don't pressure your child to tell you about their play. They often don't know how to put it into words. I will always let you know if I have concerns and you can always ask me if you have any. I will do my best to communicate to you about your child's play, while also maintaining their trust and confidentiality.

8.) It is important to continue counseling until the graduation sessions. Even if your child is doing much better, they need this sense of closure to maintain their progress.

9.) It is also important to do the homework assignments I may give you. Your child is only with me for an hour, so the real progress can be made when you work with them at home. I will always try to help you with whatever homework so you feel confident and able. During the entire counseling process we are a team, and I am here to help your child and you.

10.) Be ready to play!

Snack in a Play Therapy Session

Snack Time

(I will preface this post with snack is not appropriate for all clients, nor is any client the same as the any other.  You have to use your discretion as a play therapist to see what would be best for them.) 

I love to end my sessions with "snack and story time" or "snack and share time."  Snack time provides a time where my client and I can have a few minutes at the end of the session to recap, set goals, build our attachment and trust to one another, and continue in our therapeutic relationship.

During the intake with the parents, I ask about any allergies and get their permission to have snack time with their child.  I then leave about 10 minutes at the end of every session for snack.  Sometimes, (mainly with the younger ones) we read a book and can process it while they eat.  Since they are eating, they are usually a fairly captive and engaged audience.  Sometimes, we play a game and have sharing time.  For example, I often use the colored gold fish as my snack.  During my first meeting with a client I might have them separate the goldfish into piles based on their colors and then assign something to each color for them to share.  I might have the red be "something that makes you mad," and the green be "something that scares you."  This provides a non-threatening, easy way for us to get to know one another.  I even play sometimes too :) 

When I was working as a school based therapist, I found that snack provide a wonderful closing to the session for a child before returning to class.  If a child had gotten really wound up and energetic during a session, they could relax and calm before returning to class.  Also, if they had experienced other strong emotions during their session, they could regain their composure before facing their peers again.

The greatness that comes from snack time:

• Builds attachment skills within the child through nurture (part of the theraplay model)
• Creates a routine and ritual that a child can rely on and find security in
• Gives the child a chance to process their session
• Can include family members to have structured sharing time before ending the session
• Can provide time to read a book to a child and family
• Gives the child a chance to soothe and calm before returning to the real world
• Gives me as the therapist an opportunity to gather information if needed by structuring a game to play with the snack
• If working with on building attachment, you can include the parent in snack time and build that bond
• Great for group therapy with children, because it can provide a structured sharing time or story time
• It is fun for the child!
• Even teenagers and adults love it and look forward to it.  Many are curious what game we will play during snack time each week.

What are your thoughts on snack time? Therapists, do you use snack time in your sessions?  Teachers, do you find benefits in snack time?  Parents, how do you feel about snack during a counseling session?

What you can expect in counseling

Some people are nervous or unsure of what counseling will look like.  Each therapist is going to be a little different, but at Necessary Play here are some things that you can expect when you are first getting started:
1) a comfortable, confidential office space
2) there is a couch, but also chairs, tables, play space, and office space.  When working with kids and families, we rarely just sit on couches :)
3) an open, non-judgemental, safe space
4) an opportunity for change and growth
5) a place to gain resources and skills to take with you outside of the office space

Deciding to come to counseling is a tough decision for many.  It often means admitting to yourself that you need assistance.  However, it does not mean that you are horrible, stupid, or crazy.  I remind others, and myself, that we are quick to go to the doctor when we need medication or advice on our physical health, so why should our mental and emotional health be any different.  I hope that you consider counseling and the possibilities for change.

Set up an appointment

Thank you for considering Necessary Play.

You can contact Necessary Play by phone and/or email:
479-530-3514
alexis_necessary@hotmail.com

*I offer a free 30 minute consultation where we meet and get to know each other.  I believe that it is important for us to make sure that we are a good fit before we begin treatment.

*After you and I decide that we are ready to move forward and set up counseling, we will have an intake session to gather history and information.  Then we will set up individual and family sessions based on the treatment plan.