How can you help your child fit in at school - Part 3

Many schools in my area are starting school today.  One very important thing that parents (and teachers) can be doing to help their child feel positive about school is to provide a ritual and routine.

Rituals and routines create security and confidence in a child.  They help provide stability.  The security that a child feels when they can predict what is going to happen allows for growth, positive self-esteem, and attachment. 

So, as parents, take the time to create a morning routine and an after school routine.  Include a good-bye ritual and a re-uniting ritual.  Here are some examples:

• high-fives
• special, secret handshakes
• hugs and kisses
• "see you later alligator," "in a while crocodile"

There are endless things that you could do.  Be creative and think of what would work best for you and your child. 

Now, the tricky part is to be consistent.  Once you build a ritual, you have to maintain it.  Your child will expect this.  Try not to create a routine or ritual that is difficult to manage.  Stick to simple things that are easy for you to remember. 

Teachers can use rituals too.  Have a morning greeting for your students that you do every morning and then have a good-bye ritual.  The students will love knowing what to expect and feeling a part of your classroom.

How to help your child fit in at school - part 2

This is post 2 in a 3 part series

After your child has gotten a feel for the classroom, you can help them practice making friends and meeting new people.

This might feel silly to do as a grown-up but is fun and engaging for kids. Trust me, it has taken many years as a play therapist for me to feel comfortable being silly and making fun of myself in pretend role-play.

Here are some situations to role-play:
1.) introducing yourself to your teacher
2.) introducing yourself to new classmates
3.) re-introducing yourself to old classmates that you haven't seen all summer
4.) conversation starters for talking with new friends
5.) saying good-bye at the end of the day

Role-playing these scenarios can help your child get the kinks out if they are already social savvy, or help them learn and grow socially if they are sometimes more awkward.

How to help your child fit in at school - part 1

Here is the first of a 3 part series.

To children, school is for playing and friends. Learning is only a by-product. We have discovered through research that the more comfortable a child is in their classroom, the more they will learn and succeed.

So, the first thing you can do to help your child feel like they fit in is
TOUR THE CLASSROOM

Let your child get a feel for where their backpack will go, where they might sit, where the teacher will sit. Help them figure out how to get to their classroom and how to get to important places like the cafeteria and office.

All of this knowledge and practice in their new class will give your child an increased level of confidence and comfort going into their first day.

PS - even if you missed the official open house, you can still drop by and ask to see your child's classroom during the work day. Teachers will be up at the school preparing.